No one enters marriage with the idea that they will get divorced, but sometimes the end of a marriage is inevitable, even if you still have a deep respect for one another. Is it possible to turn a bad marriage into a good divorce?
Learning to be partners again
Although you may have a valid reason for divorce, the process of legally ending your marriage won’t be any less painful. However, you can learn to become partners again, not to get back together, but to work together to make the best possible divorce. The intention is to find the best situation for everyone, especially if you have children.
Three significant factors are essential in a good divorce: empathy for your ex-spouse and your children, professional counseling for you and your children, and acting adult. Being empathic to others’ needs goes a long way toward good communication.
Points to remember include:
- Respect in discussions by listening to opposite points of view
- Know your mate and refrain from being hurtful or reactive
- Develop coping skills to meet your own needs
- Agree to work together, even when you can’t agree on everything
- Learn the difference between wants versus needs
Professional counseling can help you work out feelings. It’s especially beneficial for children who may think the split was their fault.
Making divorce negotiations as smooth as possible
When ex-spouses have excessive animosity toward one another, reaching a final settlement becomes even more difficult. Acting adult during property division, child custody and visitation negotiations can shorten the time and money spent to reach your final settlement. The issues involved in property division can be challenging to understand, so keeping an open mind and a willingness to negotiate will put you in a better light.
Having a good divorce can last beyond the negotiation stage, too. When you part amicably and work toward the good of everyone involved, life events beyond divorce, such as sending children to college or participating in their weddings, will become much more manageable and enjoyable.