Estate planning is a deeply personal process, but it doesn’t need to be a solitary one. In fact, involving your adult children in conversations about your estate plan can potentially offer you greater peace of mind and help prevent confusion or conflict down the line.
While you don’t have to share every detail, open communication can make the process smoother for everyone involved.
Why consider making this effort?
One of the main benefits of speaking with your adult children during estate planning is setting clear expectations. Children often have different assumptions about what will happen with family property, finances and personal items. Discussing your goals early can help clarify your decisions and avoid misunderstandings after your passing.
These conversations also allow you to better understand your children’s perspectives. For example, one child may value sentimental items more than monetary gifts, while another may be willing to take on the responsibility of being executor or power of attorney. Their input can help you match roles and responsibilities in ways that reflect both your wishes and their strengths.
Transparency can also reduce the chance of future legal disputes. When family members are surprised by the contents of a will or trust, disagreements can follow. Explaining your decisions, especially if your plan doesn’t divide everything equally, can help loved ones understand your reasoning and respect your intentions.
It’s also important to consider practical matters. If your children will play a role in managing your estate or making decisions for you in the event of incapacity, they should understand their duties ahead of time. Reviewing documents like powers of attorney, advance directives and healthcare proxies with them ensures they are ready to act when needed.
Of course, not every family is ready for these conversations. If relationships are strained or certain topics are sensitive, a trusted legal professional can help guide the discussion or suggest ways to communicate your wishes clearly in writing instead.
